I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and i eat it
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.
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what do oceans and reflections have in common?
they both wave back.
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I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
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I thought jesus would tell us how to live. His name was EmMANUAL.
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The thing I don’t like about shopping centers… When you see one, you’ve seen a mall.
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My mom was deep in thought while making dinner. Was She cooking up a plot?
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What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.
where do coins go to eat?
a dimer.
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What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
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tesla made new no-pilot cars after much hard work. They were driven to do it.
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To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
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gtg pun you later 20 chars
why does the multiverse use the same math system? because its aRIFTmetic
ok bye james 
20charssssssssss
we all know that 2 wrongs dont make a right. But 3 
's do